TAKING THINGS PERSONAL
GETTING TRIGGERED AND REACTING
It can be easy to react and over-react to people and events. We may find that
we react to others needs, feelings, judgments, behavior, and choices.
Remember that other peoples words and actions reflect who they are, just as
your words and actions reflect you. When you over react to someone else, you
lose your power and problems escalate. Rather than react, listen, take a deep
breath, think and feel before you respond. If you don’t know what to reply, say
that you will have to think things over. Figure out your triggers and what
feelings come up. Consider options like doing nothing, detaching, a conversation
about your needs, setting boundaries or getting information and help.
What you over-react to (your triggers) are unique to you. People react in many
ways: 
BLAMERS (it’s all your fault)
PLACATERS (Ok, whatever you say)
APOLOGIZERS (oh I’m sorry you feel this way)
DISTRACTORS (acting apathetic, joking, ignoring)
SEDUCERS (lets kiss and make up)
DEFENDERS (well the reason I said that was because….)
WITHDRAWERS ( I don’t want to talk about it)
ATTACKERS (you’re a big baby, or your an ass!)
MARTYR (I just can’t seem to do anything right)
Arguments escalate when you react in one of the above styles. Blurred
boundaries prevent you from seeing each other. Instead, your fighting battles
that happened long ago in your childhood.
Love over Fear,
Debbie Sherrick/Holistic Codependency Life Coach